Lesson #3—The Offending Party

Posted by Pastor Greg Allen on May 18, 2014 under Philemon |

Adult Sunday School Study; May 18, 2014

ONCE UNPROFITABLE—NOW PROFITABLE

Theme: Paul’s words about Onesimus teach us how to be reconciled to someone when we are the one who caused the offense.

(Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture references are taken from The New King James Version, unless otherwise indicated).

Over the past few weeks we have been studying the tiny New Testament book of Philemon with a practical goal in mind. We have been seeking to learn some lessons on how the work of ‘reconciliation’ within the church can be done—that work within the body of Christ in which a cause of division between two believers is removed and resolved; and that those who were formerly hostile toward one another can now brought together in peace and made friends again.

Last week, we studied what this letter tells us about Philemon—and from it, how we should work toward reconciliation when we are the offended party. And in this morning’s lesson, we’ll consider the offender, Onesimus; and the lessons his story teaches us of what it is that we should do when we ourselves are the one who caused the hurt.

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As we have already learned, Onesimus was a slave. Slaves were numerous in the ancient Roman world. In some cases, they exceeded the number of free people. Onesimus was the slave of a man named Philemon—a Christian in whose home the ancient church in Colossae met. Onesimus would probably be best thought of as something like a household servant. Philemon suffered a lot of heartache and damage because of Onesimus. It appears that he ran away with a significant amount of money or goods that he had stolen from Philemon’s household. Apparently, while on the run from his master, Onesimus met up with the prisoner Paul, the apostle. God used Paul to lead Onesimus to salvation Christ. And now, Paul was sending the runaway-slave back to his Christian master.

It’s important to understand that Onesimus had been transformed by this point. We was manifestly sorry for his sins and wanted to do what was right. Paul would not have written this letter if that had not been the case. But how should Onesimus go about being restored into a right relationship with the one he had wronged? And what are the things that it would be important for us to do when we seek to be restored to someone we have harmed?

I. BE SURE THAT YOU YOURSELF ARE FULLY SUBMITTED TO CHRIST.

A. Onesimus himself had become right with Christ. Paul wrote to Philemon about the slave—calling him “my son Onesimus”. We can understand Paul’s meaning when we go on to read, “whom I have begotten while in my chains” (v. 10). Paul had led him to the Lord Jesus by faith and considered himself to be Onesimus’ spiritual father. But it would seem evident that Paul not only led him to the Lord, but also discipled him and helped him to grow into spiritual maturity. Paul spoke in a similarly “fatherly” way of Timothy (1 Timothy 1:2, 18; 2 Timothy 1:2, 13, 2:1; 3:10, 14; and in fact, it’s worth noting that Timothy is identified as a co-author of this letter). Paul was testifying to a sincere transformation and maturity in Onesimus when he said that the slave was once “unprofitable” to Philemon; but now “is profitable to you and to me” (v. 11). Paul was able to make the case to Philemon that the providential hand of God was involved in this incident for good: “For perhaps he departed for a while for this purpose, that you might receive him forever, no longer as a slave but more than a slave—a beloved brother, especially to me but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord” (v. 15-16).

B. This teaches us that, if we would truly seek reconciliation with an offended brother, we need to begin by making sure that we have been rightly reconciled to God first through Jesus Christ in all humility of spirit. All true reconciliation begins with God through Christ (2 Corinthians 5:20-21). When we sin against someone, we don’t just sin against them, but also against God by our sin against people (Psalm 51:4). It’s true that we cannot be fully right with God until we have done all we can to make things right as we can be with our offended brother; but we make steps toward reconciling with our brother when we first make sure we’re as right with God as we can be. Proverbs 16:7 says, “When a man’s ways please the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.”

II. SUBMIT YOURSELF FULLY TO THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE BODY OF CHRIST.

A. As a part of his right relationship with God, Onesimus also had a right relationship with the believers at large. When Paul sent this letter, he also seemed to have sent one by the hand of Onesimus to the church at Colossae; introducing him as “Onesimus, a faithful and beloved brother, who is one of you” (Colossians 4:9a). He was very much in fellowship with Paul; as Paul indicated when he wrote, “I am sending him back [some texts add an emphatic 'him'—as if to say, “Whom I'm sending back—in person”]. You therefore receive him, that is, my own heart, whom I wished to keep with me, that on your behalf he might minister to me in my chains for the gospel” (vv. 12-13). “If then you count me as a partner,” Paul told Philemon, “receive him as you would me” (v. 17).

B. In being restored to a wounded brother or sister, it’s important that we seek the support of the body of Christ. We need to be open to the help of others in the body of Christ in the process. Paul himself experienced such help. He had—for a long period of time—greatly harmed the church; but once he was right with the Lord, it was Barnabas who put his arm around Paul and led him to the Apostles and then into fellowship in the church he had harmed (Acts 9:26-27). The Lord Jesus ordained that reconciliation with someone in the church is to involve the church in the process (Matthew 18:15-20).

III. PERSONALLY ‘OWN’ AND MAKE AS ‘RIGHT’ AS POSSIBLE WHATEVER DAMAGE WAS DONE.

A. Paul stepped up to promise that he would do whatever might be necessary to help pay for whatever damage Onesimus may have done to Philemon. He wrote, “But if he has wronged you or owes anything, put that on my account. I, Paul, am writing with my own hand. I will repay . . . “ (vv. 18-19a). But we shouldn’t assume that this means Onesimus didn’t have to do anything. It may be that he could not in any way restore what had been lost. He may have been like the prodigal son of Jesus’ parable—and now, all that had been taken was squandered away. It seems that Paul expected Onesimus to return to his place as Philemon’s slave (vv. 15-16). One of the things that Onesimus had to do—and perhaps it was the hardest of all—was to willingly go back to Philemon and face the one he had wounded. But whatever Onesimus might have had to do when he got back, it’s clear that what was taken from Philemon was to be restored.

B. When we are the one who has offended another, we must be ready and willing to do all that is in within our power—enabled by the love of Christ Himself—to personally make things right. Paul illustrated this when he described the attitude of the repentant Corinthians: “For observe this very thing, that you sorrowed in a godly manner: What diligence it produced in you, what clearing of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what vehement desire, what zeal, what vindication! In all things you proved yourselves to be clear in this matter” (2 Corinthians 7:11).

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By God’s grace, may we—when we are the one who has offended another brother or sister—seek, in His power and with the church’s help, to do all that we can to restore the relationship!

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