THE ‘DOMESTIC’ STRATEGY

Posted by Pastor Greg Allen on May 16, 2010 under 2010 |

Preached Sunday, May 16, 2010
from
Titus 2:4-5

Theme: The impact of younger Christian women for the gospel is so vital that God calls the older Christian women in the church to pour their lives into them.

(Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture references are taken from The Holy Bible, New King James Version; copyright 1982, Thomas Nelson, Inc.)

Over the past few weeks, we’ve been studying together from the apostle Paul’s instructions in the second chapter of the tiny New Testament of Titus. In it, he calls Pastor Titus to teach some very specific things to the different age groups of the different believers in the church—things that will impact how unbelieving people outside the church respond to the gospel message they were to preach.

Paul was concerned that the people of God learned to live lives that were faithful to what they preached; so that no one would be tempted to reject the gospel because the people within the church said one thing but did another. He wrote to Titus and said;

But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine: that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience; the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things—that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. Likewise, exhort the young men to be sober-minded, in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility, sound speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say of you. Exhort bondservants to be obedient to their own masters, to be well pleasing in all things, not answering back, not pilfering, but showing all good fidelity, that they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in all things (Titus 2:1-10; emph. added).

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I was struck just the other day by how important this general theme is. I was talking with someone who had recently suffered the lost of a very large sum of money through an investment scam. As it turns out, the man who had devised this scam is now in the courts; and his victims are suing to regain some of their losses. But sadly, most of them will only get pennies on the dollar—if they get anything at all.

The person I was speaking to had, along with his wife, spent years saving and investing—and now, most of what they had saved has been stolen from them. And as I listened to him tell me about it, my heart was grieved even more when he said, “I just don’t understand it. The guy who ran this investment company said he was a Christian, and filled his ads with lots of religious references.” I fear now that it will be very hard in the future for my friend—along with other victims of this scam—to trust anyone who says that they’re a Christian. And I fear even more that—apart from a great work of God’s grace—it will be a little harder for such victims to hear the gospel.

Now; what I’ve described is certainly an extreme case. But it helped to remind me how important it is that, if we associate ourselves with the gospel of Jesus Christ and bear the name “Christian”, we be people of integrity—that we live in such a way as to truly “adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in all things”. You see; realize it or not, we are ambassadors for Christ. We are strangers and aliens in this world—the sojourning citizens of another kingdom who proclaim the good tidings of our King. And unsaved people judge the gospel message we proclaim by the way we live. The apostle Peter wrote,

Beloved, I beg you as sojourners and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts which war against the soul, having your conduct honorable among the Gentiles, that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may, by your good works which they observe, glorify God in the day of visitation (1 Peter 2:11-12).

Sadly, we live in a time when many who profess to be Christians live indistinguishably from those who have nothing at all to do with Jesus Christ. And many unbelieving people look at the lives of such professing Christians, and respond to what they see by rejecting the gospel. We shouldn’t blame them if they do; because, very often, the impression they’re left with is that the gospel of Jesus Christ doesn’t makes any real difference in the lives of those who profess it. And yet, as Peter tells us, we who follow Jesus ought to live so carefully—ought to behave in a way that is so faithful to our message; ought to conduct ourselves so differently from the rest of the people in this world—that unbelieving people will not be able to have anything bad to say about our message. They may speak against us at first as “evildoers”; but upon closer examination, they’ll have to admit that they can truly see the testimony of the truth of the gospel in the way we live.

How about you and me? What does the unbelieving world ‘judge’ about the gospel from what the see in us? Do they see a group of people who live lives that utterly defy human explanation? Do they see us living lives that back up the life-changing gospel of Jesus Christ that we proclaim? Do they see us living as if Jesus truly did live in us; and that Jesus’ own life truly was being lived through us? Or do they see us as a group of people who say one thing in church; and yet live another way in the home, or at work, or in school, or in our business dealings, or in the entertainment we enjoy? Do unsaved people look at our lives and say, “They say they believe in a life-changing Savior; but they don’t live any different from anyone else. They live no better than I do. In fact, sometimes, they live worse than I do! If there truly is a Jesus, I certainly don’t see any evidence of Him in them; so why would I want anything to do with the Jesus they preach. ”

I can’t think of anything worse that standing before the Lord one day and giving an account for that! May we live, as the apostle Paul says elsewhere, “so that the name of God and His doctrine may not be blasphemed” (1 Timothy 6:1).

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Now; that’s the thrust this section of Paul’s letter to Titus. He’s urging Titus to exhort the different groups within the church family to live in such a way as to truly adorn the gospel they preach. As we’ve seen, he started off by urging Titus to exhort the older men in the church to live faithfully to the message of the gospel. Then, he urged Titus to exhort the older women to do the same.

Among the things that he told the older women to do was to be “teachers of good things”; and as we come to verses 4-5, we see why. He says,

that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed (Titus 2:4-5).

Among the groups that Paul wanted to see living in a way that was faithful to the gospel was the younger women—the women who were just beginning to enter into the significant roles of being a wife and a mother. They are very vital to God’s plan in the spread of the gospel; and so, Paul urges that the older women in the church train the younger women to live in such a way as to protect the integrity of that gospel.

If you’re a younger woman who is about to enter into those stages of life—or if you’re already there—I plead with you to hear what God’s word has to say to you this morning. And if you’re an older Christian woman—and at a stage in life in which you are able to mentor and influence the younger women in the church—then I hope you’ll especially listen to what it is that God is calling you to do today in His word. And if you are an older man of God, you listen too; because we need to do all that we can to pray for the women in our church—younger and older—to do what God has given them to do to be trained to “adorn the gospel”.

Nothing less is at stake than the integrity of the gospel in the eyes of the watching world!

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Let’s look at this passage in greater detail. And first, I ask you to notice . . .

1. WHO IT IS THAT IS TO PROVIDE THE TRAINING OF THE YOUNGER WOMEN.

Paul says that the older women are to train the younger women. Our passage this morning has its beginning in verse 3; where Paul urges Titus to speak to the older women and exhort them to live lives that are faithful to the gospel they profess. And they are to do this, in part, so “that they may admonish the younger women . . .”

I marvel at the wisdom that God gave to Paul in this. Paul didn’t try to step in and teach the younger women. And he didn’t permit Titus to do so either. To be quite frank, I’m glad that he didn’t. For a male leader of the church to even try to do such a thing would surely result in trouble.

For one thing, a man would be utterly unqualified to mentor a young woman in the art of loving their husbands and their children, or in managing their homes. I certainly don’t mean that it would be wrong for a pastor to teach what God’s word says about such things from the pulpit. (And God’s word certainly says much about them, by the way!) Rather, I mean that it would be extremely inappropriate for a male leader in the church to come along side a young woman and mentor her and coach her along in such things. What sort of experience would he have that would give him the expertise to do so? What in the world would he know about loving a husband—let alone loving that particular woman’s husband? He might be able to say something about being a good dad; but what would he know about being a good mom? That’s only proper for someone who’s been there, and understand what that sort of challenge is like! And so, God’s word calls for the older women in the church to fill that role toward the younger women.

And for another thing, it would never be safe for a for a male leader in the church to try to coach or counsel a young woman along in the vital domestic matters of home-life in a personal way. It would easily put both of them at risk of an emotional connection becoming formed between them that quickly becomes physical. I’m just trying to be honest here, dear brothers and sisters! And even if nothing were to go on between them, we’re nevertheless commanded in the Scriptures to abstain from any situation that might even look inappropriate (1 Thessalonians 5:22). That’s why God has commanded that the older women—and not the pastor—fulfill this important task.

Dear older sisters in the Lord; please listen to me. The teaching and training and mentoring of younger women in the essential matters of home life is vital to the cause of Jesus Christ. But I cannot do it. None of the other men in the church can do it. It is to you—and you alone—that this vital task has been given by God. You must rise up and do it.

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So; it’s the older women in the church who are to train the younger women. And that leads us, next, to . . .

2. HOW IT IS THAT THEY ARE TO TRAIN THEM.

Paul uses an interesting word to express this. And it has been translated in various ways. The translation I’m using—the New King James version—has it that “they admonish the young women”. The King James version has it that they “teach” them. The New International Version has it that they “train” them. The New American Standard version has it that they “encourage” them. One older commentator has it that they were to “school” the younger women in these things¹. But the word in the original language actually means “to bring someone to their senses”². And please understand; this isn’t meant to suggest that young women are out of her senses! Rather, it’s meant to say that in an ungodly culture, a young Christian woman is surrounded by ungodly influences; and the godly older women in the church need to love them enough to come along-side the, and show them—by word and example—the kind of behavior that is in keeping with soundness and good judgment.

This was, I believe, a particular need in Crete. We’re told in 1:11 that false teachers had crept into the church; “whose mouths”, Paul wrote, “must be stopped, who subvert whole households, teaching things which they ought not, for the sake of dishonest gain”. But I would suggest that it’s an even greater need today. We live in a day in which the false philosophies and spiritualities of this world bombard homes every single day—throughout our culture, through daytime television, radio talk shows, movies, websites, books and magazines. Young women are exposed to enormous amounts of unsound advice at every turn. And so, one of the roles of the godly older women in the church is to come along side the younger women and bring them to a sensible and biblically sound view of things with scriptural instructions, wise counsel, and good examples.

The word itself is in what is called “the present tense”; which suggests that such mentoring isn’t something that happens only once in a great while, or even simply through a formal course of training. Rather, its an ongoing practice of church life. The older women—who, perhaps, have been brought into a stage of life in which they have the time and energy to do so—need to form loving, personal relationships with the younger women where, through the normal activities of life, they can bring them into sound judgment about the tasks God has given them.

By the way, dear older sisters; I hope you can see in this that there’s never a time in the life of our church family that you’re not needed. You may be older in years; but I believe if you take this passage to heart, your greatest days of ministry for the Lord Jesus Christ are just ahead of you!

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So; God’s appointed pattern is that the older women are to train the younger women in the church. Now; this leads us to . . .

3. WHAT IT IS THAT THEY ARE TO BE TRAINED TO DO.

Here, we find what we might call “seven virtues” in a young woman’s role. And what’s fascinating is how they begin. It emphasizes the high and worthy nature of the young woman’s role by saying that she must be taught, first, to love her husband; and then, to love her children. All of these virtues have, behind them, the principle of love. And isn’t it wonderful that they begin with love for the people closest to them in the home?

Someone might have thought that it wouldn’t be necessary for a young woman to have to be taught to love her husband or her children. But sadly, in a day and age in which “self” has been emphasized above all else, this simply isn’t so. Older women need to train the younger women to love their husbands and their children in the self-sacrificial love with which Jesus Himself loves them. When I think of this, I think of Ephesians 5:22-33; and to the wonderful picture of love that is exemplified in Jesus’ love for His own church. Paul wrote;

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband (Ephesians 5:22-33).

No wonder younger women need to be mentored in following such an example! And as an important aside, please note that the young woman needs to be encouraged to follow the proper order. She is to first love her husband; and then, love her children. Sadly, many women are encouraged to love their children before their husbands—or even to the exclusion of their husbands. But the thing that best builds a godly home for children is one in which mother and father are madly in love with each other.

Then, notice that the younger women are to be “discreet” or, as some translations have it, “self-controlled”. They are not to be under the control of their surrounding circumstances or emotions or passions. Some commentators relate this virtue to the one that follows after it; that she is to also be “chaste” or “pure”.

Now, again, I hope you’ll forgive me for being rather frank. My wife and I once had a friend in another church that was not discreet in her manner of dress. She was a believer; but she had come from a very rough background, and had been used to deriving a sense of value from how she made her body attractive to men. I won’t go into details; but you get the idea. To be honest, it had become a real problem to the atmosphere of worship! But the leaders of the church didn’t approach her directly about it. Instead, they wisely turned the problem over to those in the church who are charged by God with dealing with such things. They called upon the older women in the church explained the problem to them, and asked them to help her change her manner of dress—and the whole attitude that went with it.

Can you imagine what a disaster it would have been if the men in the church had tried to go to her themselves? They would have made real fools of themselves; and may also have so hurt and shamed her that she’d not want to ever be in church again! But because the older women knew just how to talk to her about it, and knew just how to help her see the problem she was causing, and knew just how to counsel her to change, the problem was dealt with wonderfully and graciously. She was able, in fact, to go on to great areas of ministry to the church.

Paul goes on to say that the older women are also to teach the younger women to be “home-makers”; or “workers at home”. And I believe this means more than simply that they teach the younger women the skills of good and industrious domestic management; but also how to put such skills to work with joy, and to embrace their role for the great blessing that it is. I appreciate what one good brother said; that this doesn’t mean that the men don’t do anything to help. But I do believe that God has appointed the woman to be the creator of a blessed home atmosphere; and the older women need to help the younger women see how to do so. And some have noted that the quality of being “good” or “kind” goes along with it. The older women are to teach the younger women how to fulfill their role of domestic management in such a way as to be good and kind in the way they do it—not speaking harshly to anyone about it, but being kind and patient in their work. (And as my own wife has once commented on this verse, a truly ‘good’ home-maker also knows how to keep her home clean of ungodly values and ideas just as much as she does dust and dirt.)

And finally, the older women are to teach the younger women to be “obedient” or “subject to their own husbands”. And let’s be careful with this; Paul doesn’t say that all women are to be subject to all men. Nor does he say that a wife is to be subject to other husbands. God’s word is very specific—that a woman is to be subject to the authority of her own husband. This isn’t about women being subjected to men. It’s about a wife being subject to God’s authority; and thus, being submitted to the authority He has appointed to her husband. With all the attacks the unbelieving world throws at the ideas of family and home-life, and with the ungodly teachings that radical feminism has advocated, it’s important that godly older women come along-side younger women and teach them how to do this. How vital it is that a younger believing woman has the counsel of godly older women to turn to!

I appreciate that Paul put this last item after the others—after he has established that a genuine heart of love for her husband comes before the call to be submitted to his authority. In fact, I hope you can appreciate how all of these items fall under the broad category of love: that a young woman be taught to love her family by loving her husband and children; that she be taught to love herself by being discreet and pure; that she love her home by being a home-maker who is good; and that she love God by submitting to His pattern of authority.

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And this leads us, finally to . . .

4. WHY IT IS THAT THE TRAINING IS NECESSARY.

Paul says it at the end; “that the word of God may not be blasphemed”. Just think of it! If a young woman in the church family talks to her unbelieving friends about the Lord Jesus Christ, they’ll instantly begin to look at her life. And if they look and see that she is bitter and harsh and unloving toward her husband and children; if they see that she’s inappropriate in her dress and provocative in her manner; if they see that she ignores her home and tries to find her happiness elsewhere, or that she’s harsh and impatient in the way she seeks to bring order to her home; or if she is rebellious and resentful toward her husband’s authority; will they be interested in hearing more about Jesus? Won’t they think, “Why should I listen to her? What difference has her ‘Jesus’ made in her life?” Wouldn’t they look at such behavior and speak against the gospel?

Dear older sisters in Christ; please rise up in love and minister to your younger sisters in Christ. Be truly godly women; and thus train them by your words and by your example. And dear older sisters; seek the godly advice and counsel of your older sisters.

This is God’s “domestic strategy’ for the part that the home-life of His people plays in helping to spread the gospel! Through it, may we all so live as to truly “adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in all things”.

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1Patrick Fairbairn, A Commentary on 1 & 2 Timothy and Titus (Edinburgh and Pennsylvania: The Banner of Truth Trust, 2002), p. 272.

2Σωφρoνίζω; see BAG, p. 986.