DON’T BE A CULPABLE CRITIC

Posted by Angella Diehl, Webmaster on February 27, 2022 under 2022 |

Bethany Bible Church Sunday message; February 27, 2022 from Proverbs 30:10

Theme: We must be careful before God how we speak about the servant of someone else.

(All Scripture is taken from The New King James Version, unless otherwise indicated).

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We come this morning to just one verse: Proverbs 30:10. It’s one in which a wise man named Agur gives a remarkable warning to us. But before we look at this verse and the wisdom it contains, let me share a story with you that may help illustrate how practical this bit of wisdom from Agur is.

It’s the story of something that happened to me not long ago because—of all things—the power cord of a clothes dryer.

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Our old clothes dryer had been giving us trouble for some time; and last summer, it finally had to be replaced. So; I went online and ordered a new dryer from an appliance company that we had been purchasing from for years and years. (I won’t say which company it was; but let’s just say that its name happens to rhyme with ‘years’.)

When you order a new appliance online, it’s sometimes also necessary to order a new power cable. And so, I ordered the cable that I thought I was instructed on the website to order for the dryer. But when the crew arrived to deliver and install the new dryer, it turned out that I had ordered the wrong power cable. The delivery crew—which, by the way, was from a completely different company—has to follow strict procedures. They’re supposed to come, remove the old appliance from upstairs, replace the old cable with a new one, and then install the new appliance. But when they saw that they didn’t have the right cable for the new dryer, they just left the old dryer in place, and left the new dryer downstairs.

I wasn’t home at the time. And so, when I came home, I found a new dryer sitting in the middle of our family room with an unusable power cable taped to it. It seemed a little out of place—and I was more than a little out of sorts.

So; I contacted customer service, and asked what was going on. A young woman answered; and, after looking up our order, she politely explained that the problem was because the wrong cable had been delivered. The delivery crew didn’t have the correct one on the truck; and so, I would have to order the correct cable from their parts department, and then reschedule the crew to come out on another day, deliver the correct cable, and complete the installation. I asked if I could just do it myself; and I was told that if I did, I might lose the warranty on the dryer. She also added that, if I didn’t want the incorrect cable (and why would I?), I would have to ship the old cable to one of their parts distributes and apply for a refund.

Now; the young woman I was speaking with was simply following the instructions she had been given. She didn’t have a truck; and she didn’t have any power cables; and she certainly couldn’t be expected to come to my home and take care of the problem. In fact, I was pretty sure she wasn’t even in the United States. She was just doing her job as best she could. But I’m sorry to say that I got pretty angry, and I unloaded my frustration on her. “What am I supposed to do with a dryer in my family room for a week? It doesn’t exactly match the decor!” She expressed very calmly that she was very sorry. There really wasn’t anything she could do. That’s when I angrily started telling her how I had been a loyal customer for years; and how displeased I was with their customer service, and that someone needed to get over to my home and take care of this appliance right away, and that I demanded satisfaction, and blah-blah-blah—you know, all the usual stuff that people with a sin nature say at a time like that. And for what I thought was a very clever finale, I asked her, “How would you like to have a dryer sitting in your family room?” She simply said that she understood my frustration; but was sorry. I felt that there was nothing more I could do either. And so, I angrily hung up—feeling very justified in my indignation.

Now; it’s possible that you would hear that story and think, “Well; you had a right to be angry! They should provide better service than that! They did you wrong!” And if that’s what you want to think, you can go right ahead and think that all you want. All I know is that I had hardly ended my call to her before I got a call—as it were—from the Lord. And He was definitely not pleased with me. I didn’t hear an audible voice, of course; but I certainly felt His strong grief with me. It was as if the Holy Spirit was saying to me, “Who in the world do you think you are? How dare you speak to anyone like that! What do you know of her situation? What do you know of her life trials and hardships? You thought you were very clever when you asked her, ‘How would you like to have a dryer sitting in your family room?’ Well; how do you know that she wouldn’t love to have any kind of a dryer at all?—let alone a family room?”

I realized how wrong I was to react the way I did. I had been a real international jerk! I prayed and told the Lord that I was very sorry—sort of hoping that that could be the end of the matter. But no. I felt very strongly from the Holy Spirit that I would have absolutely no peace in my heart until I got right back on the phone and apologized. I knew this was from God; because when I called again—to some office that was most likely in some other, distant country—the call was taken by the very same young woman. I explained the situation and asked if she was the person I had just spoken to; and she said yes. I then told her how very sorry I was for speaking to her like that. I told her that I now realize that she was doing the best she could with a situation that was largely out of her control; and I asked her forgiveness for my rudeness to her—which she very graciously gave. I recognized that the problem was me—that I had accidentally ordered the wrong cable. Then I ordered the correct part, scheduled for the crew from the other company to come back, and thanked her profusely for her time and for her courteousness to me.

Then, after looking at the dryer for a while—as it sat there in the family room and scolded me—I got a hand-truck and moved it out to the garage … just to shut it up.

But it still wasn’t over. The very next day, I had to meet with a small group of students at the seminary for whom I serve as—of all things—a spiritual life and ministry mentor. I told them what had happened; and how rudely I had responded; and how the Lord had rebuked me for it; and how I had called back and asked for forgiveness. As I shared my story, I noticed that a couple of the students had become very quiet. And then, they told me about how they had yelled at someone on the phone just a few days earlier for a similar thing; and that now—thanks to me!—they had a phone call that they had to make.

Now; all of that happened several months ago. But it all came back to me as I prepared to share with you from Proverbs 30:10. That verse says;

Do not malign a servant to his master,
Lest he curse you, and you be found guilty (Proverbs 30:10).

Not very many words, are they? But what wise, practical and relevant words they are!

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There’s a very serious spiritual principle behind this verse. It’s something that the Lord Jesus once taught. He had been dealing with the Jewish leaders who were opposing Him—and who were even going so far as to blaspheme Him and attribute His miracles to the devil. Their words were way out of line. And among the other things He told them, He said;

“But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matthew 12:36-37).

And please think carefully about that. Jesus—the Judge of all the earth—made it clear that people—including ourselves—will give an accounting before God on the day of judgment for ‘every idle word’ spoken. That’s a horrifying promise; isn’t it? I was talking the other day with someone who used to process the kind of service calls that I had made to that young woman. He told me that you often hear a message that says something like, ‘This call may be monitored …’. or ‘This call may be recorded for quality purposes …’ My friend said, “Don’t you believe it. It’s not just that it may be. It’s monitored and recorded every time!” And when he told me that, I thought of how much more true that is than we realize! God Himself monitors and records those conversations every single time as well … and they will be reviewed on the day of judgment. We will be accountable, on that coming day, for what comes out of our mouths toward all people … including some far-away ‘customer service’ representative.

Now, I’m grateful for the Father’s pardoning grace; aren’t you? I’m grateful that the Lord Jesus has shed His precious blood on the cross to cover all my sins—including the many sins of my mouth. And I count on His atoning blood to cover my sins on that day. But I don’t want to have any more ‘idle words’ to give an accounting for than I already do. I want to heed what this warning in Proverbs 30:10 says—that as Jesus’ followers, we must be careful before God how we speak about the servant of someone else. We will definitely be held accountable.

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So; let’s look at this verse in a bit more detail. First, notice …

1. WHAT IS BEING FORBIDDEN.

Agur warns us, ”Do not malign …” That’s not a word that we use very often; is it? Other translations have it, “Do not slander …” It means to speak about someone in a spiteful or critical or demeaning manner.

I thought it was interesting to discover that, in the original Hebrew, the idea is to “not make tongue” against someone—that is, to not use our tongues to harm or cut down or speak evil of someone. That tongue of ours has the potential for great harm. Pastor James put it this way in James 3:

The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so (James 3:6-10).

It’d be going too far, of course, to say that we may never speak up when something wrong is done. It’s certainly not out of line to file a complaint when we’ve been treated unjustly. But I think the key is in the word “malign”. When we’ve gone past the strict facts of the matter—when we’ve given vent to our own anger toward some other person—when we tear them down and malign or slander them with our tongue—then we’ve gone too far. We’ve sinned with our words.

Do you want to know how serious a matter this is? Jesus teaches that when I ‘malign’ someone, I am committing a kind of murder. I’m diminishing the life of someone else with my words. He gave us a picture of such ‘maligning’ in the Sermon on The Mount when He said;

You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca! shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire. Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer, and you be thrown into prison. Assuredly, I say to you, you will by no means get out of there till you have paid the last penny (Matthew 5:21-26).

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So; we are warned not to ‘malign’ another—not to speak of them slanderously. That’s, obviously, a command that’s applicable at all times.

But then, look at Proverbs 30:10 and notice …

2. WHEN IT IS SPECIFICALLY BEING FORBIDDEN.

Agur says, “Do not malign a servant to his master …” The servant is under the responsibility of their master; and in the times in which Agur wrote, a master could potentially be very severe in their conduct toward their servant. Criticisms to a servant that reached the ears of their master could result in things becoming very hard for that servant.

But I believe this can—and should—be transferred to the modern idea of an employee/employer relationship. It happens when we go past someone—going over their head, as it were—in order to speak evil of them, or tear them down, or slander them, or malign them to the person before whom they are accountable. That is something that has the potential of causing great harm not only to that person, but also to the person who is over them. Without realizing it, I was doing that very thing when my harsh words to that poor customer service representative were being recorded for later review.

What’s more; when I think of this, I also remember a command in the Book of Exodus. It’s a very serious one. It’s found in Exodus 22:28. It says,

“You shall not revile God, nor curse a ruler of your people” (Exodus 22:28).

‘Not reviling God’ … Okay; we get that. That would obviously be a great act of evil. But in the very same command, we’re told not to even curse a ruler of our people. Why is that? It’s because they are where they are by the sovereign leading and permission of God. It doesn’t matter whether or not we particularly like that leader. They are there because God—for His wise purposes—has placed them there. A slander of one reflects upon the other.

This is something that got the apostle Paul in serious trouble once. In Acts 23, we’re told about how he was brought before the ruling council of the Jewish people in Jerusalem in order to give an account of his preaching. He told them, “Men and brethren, I have lived in all good conscience before God until this day.” And when that happened, the high priest gave the order for Paul to be struck on the mouth. It was obviously an unjust act. And what did Paul do about it? He lashed back and said, “God will strike you, you whitewashed wall! For you sit to judge me according to the law, and do you command me to be struck contrary to the law?”

Perhaps because his eyesight wasn’t very good, he didn’t realize who it was that he had slandered. Someone said to him, “Do you revile God’s high priest?” Think of that! God’s high priest! And do you know what Paul did? He quoted that verse from Exodus 22; and said,

“I did not know, brethren, that he was the high priest; for it is written, ‘You shall not speak evil of a ruler of your people’” (Acts 23:5).

It’s okay to speak out when we are treated unjustly, or when something is wrong and needs to be corrected. But when we malign and slander someone in the service of someone else, we don’t just slander them. We also slander the one they serve. It moves on up.

And those words are monitored by God; and He is impacted by them as well.

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So; Agur’s wise counsel to us is, “Do not malign a servant to his master”. And notice …

3. WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF WE DO THIS WRONGLY.

First, in relation to the servant, we’re told, “Lest he curse you …” Somehow—in the mysterious ways that God works in His universe—our words, though spoken in secret, can get back to that servant. And he or she might then bring the matter before God.

In Ecclesiastes 10:20, we’re told something very interesting. Solomon—who probably had some experience in this matter—wrote;

Do not curse the king, even in your thought;
Do not curse the rich, even in your bedroom;
For a bird of the air may carry your voice,
And a bird in flight may tell the matter (Ecclesiastes 10:20).

And if this can happen with a king—about whom everyone is usually very careful what they say—just think of how it can happen with anyone else! How many times have words carelessly spoken about someone been inadvertently delivered directly to that person by someone’s poorly monitored mobile device! Nowadays, God has lots of little ‘birds in flight’ that can ‘tell matters’ that we think no one else is supposed to hear.

And don’t ever discount the fact that, when someone who is maligned by our words to a superior, they may curse us for it. God hears the cry of those who are treated unjustly—and He takes action on their behalf.

And that leads us to a second thing to notice; and that’s what will happen if we do wrong in this matter in relation to God Himself. Agur puts it in pretty simple terms when he says that the offended person may curse us, “and you be found guilty.”

We can think here of something that Paul wrote in Romans 14. He was talking about Christians who dare to malign their brothers or sisters for participating in practices or habits that are left up to the individual believer’s conscience: what sort of food they may eat, or what particular holiday they may celebrate. Paul asked;

Who are you to judge another’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. Indeed, he will be made to stand, for God is able to make him stand (Romans 14:4).

Our brother or sister in Christ is God’s responsibility—not ours. He is able to help them stand. When we fail to stay in our lane—when we presume to criticize or speak slanderously of someone who is the servant of our heavenly Father on matters that are none of our business—He will rise to their defense … and to His own defense as well.

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So you can see that this is a very serious matter that Agur speaks of. Let me close by suggesting …

4. HOW THIS ESPECIALLY RELATES TO US AS BELIEVERS.

There are certain habits and practices that, as followers of Jesus, we should embrace. If we faithfully do so, these habits will help us to avoid this dangerous thing that Agur spoke of.

I suggest that this would teach us first to give up judging. It’s really not our place to judge others and to utter forth our criticisms of them. In James 4:11-12, Pastor James wrote;

Do not speak evil of one another, brethren. He who speaks evil of a brother and judges his brother, speaks evil of the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is one Lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy. Who are you to judge another? (James 4:11-12).

When we criticize someone else on the basis of our own man-made standards, we’re basically saying that God’s standards are not sufficient. We’re saying that, as far as we’re concerned, His law isn’t good enough for us—and we need to improve on it by judging people on the basis of our own rules and regulations. We must not do this! If we’re doing it, we must stop!

Second, this teaches us that, if we actually have a problem with someone, it’s not that we must ignore it. Rather, we should make it our practice to go direct. Don’t bring other people into the matter. Don’t go over someone’s head. Do the best you can to go to them directly and speak to them about your concern one-on-one. Jesus said;

“Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector” (Matthew 18:15-17).

Only go over the head of that person if they absolutely won’t hear you—and if, in all sincerity before God, all other efforts fail.

And then, finally, this teaches us a very important principle: guard your heart. Don’t even open your mouth until you’re sure that your heart is right before God. The apostle Paul wrote;

Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you (Ephesians 4:31-32).

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Looking back, I sure wish now I had just calmed down and spoken kindly to the woman on the phone. And besides; it really wasn’t a big deal that a dryer sat in the family room for a few days. It would have made an interesting conversation piece—and my spirit before God would have been a whole lot more honorable.

Well; I’m confident that I’ll have an opportunity to try again soon. I seem to get ‘do-overs’ with these kinds of lessons in life. You will get opportunities too. So; let’s make up our mind now—well in advance—to ask for the Holy Spirit’s help, and to heed Agur’s wise advice to the glory of our Lord Jesus:

Do not malign a servant to his master,
Lest he curse you, and you be found guilty.

AE