GOD’S GRACIOUS PROVISION – 1 Corinthians 7:1-9

Posted by Pastor Greg Allen on January 13, 2019 under 2018 |

Bethany Bible Church Sunday Message; January 13, 2019 from 1 Corinthians 7:1-9

Theme: When it comes to the dangers that an immoral world presents to us, marriage is God’s gracious provision

(All Scripture is taken from The New King James Version, unless otherwise indicated).

We are living today in the midst of an increasingly sexualized culture. It may be that, worldwide, these are the most sexualized times in human history since the flood.

Many ideas and practices are being forcibly mainstreamed into popular culture today—in an almost global way—that were considered deeply immoral, and unimaginable, and inappropriate to even speak of just a couple of decades years ago. And not only are these ideas and practices being openly advocated, but they are being celebrated today through popular media, movies, music. Those who take a stand against this cultural movement are in for quite a battle.

And here we are, dear brothers and sisters, seeking to live holy lives in the midst of such a culture. The potential impact for the harm that comes from it all is very destructive. How do we stand against it? How can we be protected from it? Where is the safe place for us in all of it?

That is where 1 Corinthians 7:1-9 comes in. This passage teaches us that God has provided a remedy for His people in immoral times such as these.

That remedy is found in God’s design for marriage.

* * * * * * * * * *

Now; the times in which the Corinthian Christians were living were very much like our own. The Corinthian culture was almost proverbial for its immorality. We get a sense of this from what Paul wrote to them in 1 Corinthians 6. He warned these believers about the dangers that this culture presented to them, and told them;

Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s (6:18-20).

And that leads us to Chapter 7. It seems that—in the midst of such a culture—some of these Christians had written to Paul and asked for advice about various topics. We don’t have the actual questions that they asked Paul; but we know something of what these questions were from the answers that he gave. One of their questions had to do with the whole matter of intimacy in marriage. It was an understandable concern—given the immorality that was all around them. It appears that they had asked something like this: “Given the sinful nature of the culture around us, is intimacy in marriage wrong? In order to be holy people before God, should we abstain?”

And Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 7:1-9 to say;

Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.

But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion (1 Corinthians 7:1-9).

Paul’s Holy Spirit-inspired answer to their question, then, was that a husband and wife should not abstain from intimacy together. In fact—because of the immorality of the culture around them—they should be drawn together all the more. In other words, when it comes to the dangers that an immoral world presents to us as followers of Jesus, marriage is God’s gracious provision.

* * * * * * * * * *

Now; not all of Chapter 7 deals with questions about marriage. It touches on some of the most sensitive and controversial issues we encounter as believers—such things as marriage to unbelievers, separation, divorce, remarriage, and remaining single. Some of the things that are taught in this passage could hurt people severely if they are handled in an insensitive and careless way. And this is especially true of the important and sensitive issue of sexuality in marriage.

And so; before we get into our study of this morning’s passage, I feel that it would be important to say a few things. First, I want to acknowledge that some of us have had some experiences in the past—or may be having some experiences right now—that make it hard to process what God’s word tells us in this section. And I want to assure you that I will do my best to handle this passage with sensitivity and respect. As my wife has pointed out to me, this is a job for the Holy Spirit; and I promise you that I will preach from it with dependency upon Him.

Second, I recognize that this passage may not speak to things that are an issue in your own current life-situation. You may be in a place of life right now that is not addressed by the specific question that Paul answers. And if that’s the case, please do not consider this passage to be irrelevant or unhelpful to you. It may be that God is giving you something in it that He intends for you to use in helping someone else who needs to hear what God has to say.

And finally, let’s understand that this passage—and the whole of Chapter 7 itself—may show us that we’re not yet where we should be in our walk with God or in our marriage. Let’s all remember that we are a people in process, who are being redeemed by our Savior. Let’s agree to be patient with ourselves and with one another; and to present ourselves to the work of the Holy Spirit to lead us closer to where He wants us to be in our walk with the Lord Jesus Christ.

* * * * * * * * * *

Now; when it comes to this particular passage, I believe that the best way to approach it is by looking at five basic affirmations that are made in it. And the first of these affirmations—the one we find in verse 1—is that …

1. ABSTINENCE IS GOOD IF ONE HAS THAT GIFT.

Paul wrote, “Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.” The phrase “to touch a woman” is a euphemism for sexual intimacy; and to “not touch” a woman would speak of the idea of the sexual abstinence of celibacy. I believe that that’s what these Corinthian Christians were asking about. In an immoral culture such as theirs, is it best to be celibate?

It may have been these Christians were thinking back to the teaching of the Lord Jesus. If they had access to the Gospel of Matthew, they might have read of the encounter the Savior had with the Pharisees over the issue of divorce and remarriage. Jesus had warned that if anyone divorced their wives for any reason other than sexual immorality—and then married another woman—they were committing adultery. The disciples were stunned by this; and they said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” Jesus told them;

“All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given: For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it” (Matthew 19:10-12).

And so, perhaps these Corinthian Christians were wondering: Should they have ‘accepted’ this too? Given the type of times they were living in, was it better to be celibate?

Paul answered by saying that—as a general principle—it’s true that it’s good for a man not to touch a woman. But he clearly doesn’t mean that celibacy is God’s will for all. As the words of our Lord Himself affirmed, some have been given the ability by God to live happily and in a God-devoted way without marriage. Not everyone has this gift; but some do. Apparently, Paul himself was someone who had been given this gift. And for those who have been given this gift from God, then celibacy is a perfectly acceptable and good thing. For those who have not been given this gift, however, celibacy would not be a good thing at all.

We need to think of what Paul says here as a general principle: that if someone is so led and is so gifted by God, then it is good and acceptable for them to live a single life in holiness and purity.

* * * * * * * * * *

But this leads us to Paul’s next affirmation; that …

2. FOR THOSE WHO DO NOT HAVE THAT GIFT, MARRIAGE IS GOD’S GRACIOUS PROVISION.

Paul goes on to say in verse 2, “Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.”

Now; someone might think that that sounds like a rather low view of marriage. It sounds as if Paul was saying that the only reason for marriage is just to help people avoid getting into trouble. But I think it’s important to remember that Paul wholeheartedly believed that the Bible says about marriage in its very first pages.

In Genesis 2, it says this of Adam:

And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said:

“This is now bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh (Genesis 2:18-24).

That’s a very high view of marriage. It holds marriage out to us as a wondrous blessing from God. Paul would have believed what Genesis 2 says with all his heart. He would not have looked upon marriage in strictly a pragmatic way. He would have embraced it as God’s design for the good and happiness of humanity—something that brings glory to our Creator.

And so; we should see in Paul’s words in verse 2 as setting marriage apart from the kinds of immorality that defined the Corinthian culture. In saying that every man should have his own wife, and that every woman should have her own husband, Paul would have affirmed the equal value that God placed upon both men and women—and that one is not merely the property of the other. Paul also would have affirmed God’s pattern as distinct from all forms of polygamy; because it speaks of only one man for one woman, and one woman for one man. He also sets marriage apart from all forms of homosexuality, because he speaks only of a woman for that one man, and of a man for that one woman.

But in all else that we see in this, we should definitely see it as an answer to the problem of living in a sexually immoral culture. Paul’s focus is not just strictly pragmatic; but it is most definitely practical. Because of sexual immorality, “let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.” It is God’s good gift to humanity—and His gracious provision of a remedy to the dangers that a sexually-saturated culture presents.

* * * * * * * * * *

So; how does God’s design of marriage serve as a remedy in immoral times? It’s because, through it, He has provided the only environment in which our God-given sexual needs may be satisfied in a holy and good way. Paul goes on to stress that …

3. A HUSBAND AND WIFE MUST MINISTER TO EACH OTHER’S NEEDS (vv. 3-5).

Paul writes, “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband” (v. 3). Whenever a couple enters together into a marriage covenant, they are entering into a relationship of mutual love and care that focuses on the meeting of one another’s needs. Paul explains how deeply this is the case by saying, “The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does” (v. 4).

That’s definitely not something that the people of this world would say. But do you realize, dear brothers and sisters, that when we enter into marriage, we enter into a relationship in which our bodies are no longer strictly our own? We no longer have authority over our own bodies, but we share that authority with our spouse. Now; that may alarm some of us. We may think of ways in which that could be abused. But always remember how this is put into balance by Paul in something he said about marriage in another passage—something truly wonderful. In Ephesians 5, he wrote;

So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” (Ephesians 5:28-31).

The model for the marriage relationship is the relationship that Jesus has with His church—His Bride. He gives Himself over sacrificially for the good of His Bride. He nourishes and cherishes the church as His own flesh. And that’s how we’re to view this idea of no longer having full authority over our own bodies. We are to always keep our eyes on how Jesus loves us. As husbands and wives, we are to recognize that our spouse now has authority over our body; and we are to lovingly serve each other and meet each other’s needs—just as Jesus does for us.

That’s God’s design for marriage. And that’s why it is such a wonderful remedy in an immoral culture. That’s why Paul says, in verse 5, “Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

There may be times when circumstances prevail; and when necessity requires a brief period of abstinence in marriage. But notice carefully the qualifications: it is to only be by mutual consent; it is only to be for a short time; and it is to never be done out of anger or for harm, but strictly for the purpose of focusing our attention upon the Lord. And then, the abstinence must end. Otherwise, the realities of an immoral culture become a danger; and the enemy of our souls will use them as an opportunity against us.

If we want to be kept safe in an immoral culture, then we must trust God and make use of the remedy He has provided for us in the context of marriage.

* * * * * * * * * *

Now; in verses 6-7, Paul comes back to something we’ve already touched on. He speaks once again of the fact that God ‘gifts’ some to live a single life in holiness and purity. And so, another principle he sets forth is that …

4. EACH PERSON’S UNIQUE PROVISION FROM GOD SHOULD BE RESPECTED.

In verse 6, he wrote, “I say this as a concession, not as a commandment.” And the “this” he is speaking of is the whole idea that—because of the pressures of an immoral culture—someone should get married. He’s not making a ‘commandment’ that everyone get married; but is rather acknowledging that, for those who do not have control over their passions, marriage is a necessity.

Apparently, it was not a necessity for him. He wrote in verse 7, “For I wish that all men were even as I myself.” Paul himself was an unmarried man. He does not hold himself up, however, as an absolute standard. He goes on to write, “But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.”

And I believe that there are a couple of important implications to be drawn from this. First, this means that it is an utterly unbiblical thing for certain traditions of the Christian faith to set forth ‘celibacy’ as a standard of ministry. Clearly, Paul means for us to understand that some have this gift from God, and that others do not. To impose Paul’s own experience upon anyone as a rule to follow—as if it represented the highest state of devotion to God—is a spiritually dangerous practice that has led to unspeakable harm.

But Paul’s words would also suggest to us that we, as a church, should be careful to respect it when someone—in fact—does have this gift; and has felt led by God to devote themselves to the Lord in a life of singleness. We should never do the reverse of imposing celibacy: that is, insisting that every young man and every young woman must get married. Some church families have had a bad history of doing this. They make every young man or young woman, who may be called to a life of singleness, feel like they have to duck and hide every time someone comes along to play ‘match-maker and ‘help them’ out of their singleness. The pressure to ‘get married’ has caused a lot of harm in God’s household too.

Let’s learn from Paul’s words that it is just as unbiblical to insist upon marriage for everyone as it would be to insist on celibacy for anyone.

* * * * * * * * * * *

But everyone should be honest about whether or not they have this gift. As a last principle, Paul teaches us that …

5. WHATEVER ONE’S SITUATION, IT IS BETTER TO MARRY THAN TO BURN WITH PASSION.

He closes off, in verses 8-9 by saying, “But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

If someone has been made single by the circumstances of life—and if they wish to remain single—then they should. But only if, by the providence of God for that time in their lives, they have that gift! Otherwise—if they find that they have no self-control—if they find themselves victimized by the culture around them—if they find themselves being distracted by their passions from purity before God—then they do not have that gift!

Such a person should, in that case, get married again. It is better to marry than to burn; and marriage is God’s gracious provision of a remedy.

* * * * * * * * * *

Now; someone asked a good question recently. What does someone do who wants to get married—and even feels the need to get married—but doesn’t find any prospects for marriage at this particular time of their lives? That’s a situation that some Christians find themselves in; and it’s a painful and frustrating one.

It seems to me that such a person is in a unique place of dependency upon God. I don’t believe that God has provided this necessary remedy with the intention of frustrating those who need it most. But it may be that, for such a person, this period of their lives is meant by God to be a particular time of testing; and that through it, God wants to refine them in their trust in Him before He entrusts that other person to them.

If I could, I would say to that person, “Trust God; keep growing in Him; grow as close to Him as you can; be holy; be obedient; stay away from all forms of immorality; and rest in the fact that He infinitely loves you and sees the need of your heart. In the absence of that person—for as long as it takes—let the Lord Jesus make up that lack for you. And rest assured that, when He has you where He wants you—if He so wills—He is wonderfully able to bring another child of His into your life, whom He has prepared for you, to share with you in that trust.”

EA