THE ‘HAND-TO-THE-MOUTH’ POLICY

Posted by Pastor Greg Allen on June 26, 2022 under 2022 |

Bethany Bible Church Sermon Message; June 26, 2022 from Proverbs 30:32-33

Theme: It would be far better to cover our mouths before God than to stir up strife among people.

(All Scripture is taken from The New King James Version, unless otherwise indicated).

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Over the past few months, we’ve been studying together from Proverbs 30—and from the wise sayings that the Holy Spirit has preserved for us from a man named Agur. And this morning, we come to the last of Agur’s sayings. It’s a very appropriate ‘final word’ of counsel for us to receive after having spent a long time gaining ‘wisdom’.

It’s an old principle that has been hinted at in many ways. We may have heard it in the gentle way of the childhood rhyme:

“There is a little door
That everyone can close,
And that’s the little door
Just underneath your nose.”

Or we might have heard it through the subtle philosophy of the old saying: “Once upon a time, there was a wise man who said … nothing!” We may have heard it in the memorable quote of Abraham Lincoln: “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt.” Or we may even have heard it in the straightforward not-so-subtle way of the old cowboy proverb: “Never miss an opportunity to shut up.”

But you get the basic idea; don’t you? The main theme of morning’s passage is that we learn the fine art of knowing when to keep our mouth closed. In Proverbs 30:32-33, the wise man Agur said;

If you have been foolish in exalting yourself,
Or if you have devised evil, put your hand on your mouth.
For as the churning of milk produces butter,
And wringing the nose produces blood,
So the forcing of wrath produces strife (Proverbs 30:32-33).

I think that a good name for the principle that this passage teaches us is ‘the hand-to-the-mouth policy’. It’s a very good policy to have—especially in the kind of times in which we’re living today. And if we kept to it wisely and faithfully, we would not only save ourselves a lot of trouble, but we would also greatly advance the cause of Jesus in this world.

* * * * * * * * * *

Now; there’s a spiritual reality that stands behind this principle. It’s a spiritual reality that I have thought about and prayed about often. It’s a reality that’s taught to us by the Lord Jesus Himself. He once warned;

“But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matthew 12:36-37).

We should take those words very seriously. We may think that the words that come out of our mouths are unimportant things that, once spoken, just vanish in the air to be forever forgotten. But our Lord and Master has told us that the heavenly Father hears what we say with our mouths—and takes note of what we whisper in the ear—and even, as the case may be, reads what we post on the Internet. And He Himself will hold us accountable for what we’ve said. This is true even of the so-called ‘idle words’—words that we utter carelessly and thoughtlessly—words that just ‘came out in the heat of the moment’ and that ‘we didn’t really mean’. Those seemingly idle words can cause great harm; and we will give an answer to God for them.

Now; that frightens me greatly. I’m deeply grateful for the pardoning grace of God purchased for me by the blood of Jesus. I will rely on that pardoning grace completely on the day of accounting. But I certainly don’t want to answer for any more idle speech than I’ve already spoken! I’m sure, dear brothers and sisters, that you feel the same way. So; these words from Agur in Proverbs 30 are very important for us to pay attention to. They will help us to avoid speaking what we will—one day—most certainly regret having said.

But there’s another reason why we need to heed these words from Agur. And that has to do with our calling as ambassadors for the Lord Jesus Christ in this world. There’s no question that there are times when it is our duty to be bold and speak up. As Jesus’ followers, we are to faithfully and courageously proclaim the message of the gospel, and to take a stand for truth. But there are also times when our words are motivated more by selfish motives than by godly ones. And those kinds of words bring serious harm to our witness. We sometimes drive people away from the message of the gospel by recklessly speaking our own opinions—mostly about non-essential, worldly-focused things—and in ways that are only designed to exalt ourselves or put someone else down. This is a particular danger in times like these; when there are so many heated issues to talk about, and when people’s emotions and passions are high, and when there are so many ways to express our opinions to the offense of so many listening ears.

Dear brothers and sisters; when I think of the number of times I may have turned someone off to the message of the gospel by some stupid and hurtful thing I’ve said, I am almost tempted to put glue on my lips and seal them shut for good! But if I did that, then I wouldn’t be able to use my mouth for the high purpose that God intended—that of offering praise to Him, or of declaring His Son to those around me. It’s far better, then, to repent of my failures, rejoice in God’s pardoning grace, and learn—from this point going forward—when it’s wise to put my hand to my mouth to the glory of God.

So; let’s look closely at these words from the wise man Agur. From them, we learn the valuable lesson that it would be far better to cover our mouth before God than to stir up strife among people.

* * * * * * * * * *

Now; the first thing that we read in Proverbs 30:32-33 are these words;

If you have been foolish in exalting yourself,
Or if you have devised evil … (v. 32).

I’m tempted to say that, for me, there’s been no “if” about it. I have definitely been foolish in exalting myself and devising evil. I’m guilty. And so, this affirms to us that …

1. THERE’S A SINFUL POTENTIAL TO OUR WORDS.

Every time we choose to speak our own minds about a matter, we need to realize just what a dangerous thing it is that we’re about to do. First, because of the sinful tendencies of our fallen heart, there’s the danger that we would use our words to exalt ourselves over someone else. This happens whenever we twist a story to our own advantage, or leave pieces of information out that might harm our case, or spin things in such a way as to make ourselves look wiser and more informed than we really are. And second, there’s the danger that we would craft our words in such a way as to tear someone else down. This happens when we engage in name-calling, or twist things to someone else’s disadvantage, or leave out information that might support their case, or spin things in such a way as to make them look stupid, or uninformed, or ill-motivated.

Do you remember the parable of our Lord about the Pharisee who went to the temple to pray. He stood before God in the temple—with a tax collector not far away—and “prayed thus with himself”;

“God, I thank You that I am not like other men—extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector” (Luke 18:11).

We may wince at his words; but that same kind of sinful potential always abides in our own hearts—and has often easily come pouring out through our words. In both cases, the root cause is pride; and in both cases, God’s word calls it ‘foolish’.

When it comes to the sinful potential of our words, I always think of James 3. God has given us a whole chapter of the Bible about the danger of our tongue. As Pastor James wrote;

My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment. For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body. Indeed, we put bits in horses’ mouths that they may obey us, and we turn their whole body. Look also at ships: although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires. Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Thus no spring yields both salt water and fresh (James 3:1-12).

Do you know one of the reasons why we so often try to exalt ourselves with our words, or use them to tear someone else down with them? It’s because we’ve been taught to think that it’s a great display of wisdom to do so. Somehow we’ve come to believe that the wiser a person is, the more capable he or she will be of putting everyone else beneath them. We admire the clever ‘put-down artist’ and think that they’re ‘wise’ and ‘clever’ and ‘cool’. But that’s completely wrong. Read what Pastor James goes on to say in verses 13-18;

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace (vv. 13-18).

The truly wise person is the one who doesn’t tear others down, or who doesn’t try to come across as ‘cunning’ and ‘clever’, or who doesn’t always try to win the argument at any cost. The so-called ‘wisdom’ of this world—the kind that shows itself in an ‘envious’ and ‘self-seeking’ ability to outwit everyone else with clever words—is not wisdom from God at all. It’s a fake wisdom that comes from the devil. And it results in “confusion” and “every evil thing”—the very kinds of things that the devil seeks to produce.

So, dear brothers and sisters; before we open our mouths to give our opinions about non-essential things, let’s remember the terribly wicked potential that abides in our own hearts.

* * * * * * * * * *

That alone may cause us to take the next thing Agur tells us to heart; and that is that …

2. IT MAY BE WISER TO COVER OUR MOUTH.

Agur says;

If you have been foolish in exalting yourself,
Or if you have devised evil, put your hand on your mouth (v. 32).

It’s almost as if Agur says that once you’ve realized that you’ve let the sinful potential of your heart out through your words, shut the floodgate quick! In fact, the way it’s put in the original Hebrew is very abrupt and quick-to-the-point. He simply says, “Hand on mouth!”

Now; this whole idea of stopping our words from coming out is a very big theme in the Book of Proverbs. You get the impression that God wants very much for us to learn this; because He has made sure to tell us about it several times in His ‘Book of Wisdom’. Let me share a few selections from the Proverbs you—in the order that they appear in the book. Some of them will be ones you may already know:

By pride comes nothing but strife,
But with the well-advised is wisdom (Proverbs 13:10).

A soft answer turns away wrath,
But a harsh word stirs up anger (Proverbs 15:1).

The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly,
But the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness (Proverbs 15:2).

A wrathful man stirs up strife,
But he who is slow to anger allays contention (Proverbs 15:18).

A perverse man sows strife,
And a whisperer separates the best of friends.
A violent man entices his neighbor,
And leads him in a way that is not good (Proverbs 16:28-29).

Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace;
When he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive (Proverbs 17:28).

It is honorable for a man to stop striving,
Since any fool can start a quarrel (Proverbs 20:3).

As charcoal is to burning coals, and wood to fire,
So is a contentious man to kindle strife (Proverbs 26:21).

If you’re the kind of person who’s inclined to give your opinion about things a lot, do you suppose that it might be a good idea to copy those verses out and tape them to your bathroom mirror?—or perhaps even to the top of your computer screen? Wouldn’t they help you to remember to put your hand over your mouth before something harmful comes out?

These words of warning make me think of a prayer that King David once prayed:

Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth;
Keep watch over the door of my lips.
Do not incline my heart to any evil thing,
To practice wicked works
With men who work iniquity;
And do not let me eat of their delicacies (Psalm 141:3-5).

I’m afraid that I not only delight in my own foolish speech, but I also delight in hearing it from others. Have you ever heard the old saying, “If you can’t say something nice about someone else, then sit next to me so I can hear you better”? That kind of talk is poisonous candy; and I must be careful neither to eat it or to dish it out! May God help us to know when it’s wise to speak—and also when it’s far wiser to put our hand over our mouths instead!

* * * * * * * * * *

And this would be because of a simple principle that Agur mentions in verse 33. He says;

For as the churning of milk produces butter,
And wringing the nose produces blood,
So the forcing of wrath produces strife (v. 33).

This teaches us to remember, when choosing to speak our mind, that …

3. THE PRESSING OF WRATH CAUSES STRIFE.

A few years ago, when I went to Israel, we got to visit a farm. And on that farm, we were permitted to help make goat cheese. (Well; actually, I just watched.) Some volunteers got to milk the goat (while I watched); and then the milk was put into a container so that it was beaten. That separated the liquid whey from the curds. And then, the curds were put into a bag and were beaten and pressed further to get rid of all the liquids. Then, after this very rigorous process, everyone else got to eat fresh goat cheese. That’s how the cheese or the butter was made—by pressing and squeezing the milk. The same goes for making a bloody nose. Take someone’s nose and give it a good, hard tweak, and you’ll get blood. (Don’t test the theory … just trust me.)

These are natural realities that illustrate a very simple ’cause/effect’ principle: apply pressure and you get results. Well; in the same way, if we apply pressure to anger by squeezing a controversial subject—either accidentally by our own foolish carelessness, or intentionally by pushing someone else’s ‘hot buttons’—then we shouldn’t be surprised that what comes out is division, or angry words, or ill feelings, or even disputes and fights.

Some people may enjoy doing that. But it’s a very evil thing to do. That’s not the way our Lord behaved. We’re told about Him in Isaiah 42:1-4; where God prophetically says of Him,

“Behold! My Servant whom I uphold,
My Elect One in whom My soul delights!I have put My Spirit upon Him;
He will bring forth justice to the Gentiles.
He will not cry out, nor raise His voice,
Nor cause His voice to be heard in the street.
A bruised reed He will not break,
And smoking flax He will not quench;
He will bring forth justice for truth.
He will not fail nor be discouraged,
Till He has established justice in the earth;
And the coastlands shall wait for His law.” (Isaiah 42:1-4).

Our Lord—in coming into this world—was gentle and meek. He didn’t shout. He didn’t rant. He didn’t break a reed or blow out a wick. He came to do His Father’s will. All matters of contention against Him were left to the judgment of His heavenly Father. And He calls upon us, as His followers, to behave like Him. As the a
postle Peter put it in 1 Peter 2:21-23;

For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps:

“Who committed no sin,
Nor was deceit found in His mouth”;

who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously … (1 Peter 2:21-23).

If we would be His faithful followers, then we need to know when to put our hand to our own mouth—to the glory of God.

* * * * * * * * * *

Now obviously; it’s not God’s will that we all walk around with our hand over our mouth all the time. That would almost be the same as gluing our lips shut. But that leads to an important question: When do we know that it’s right to pull our hand away and speak? I believe that we’re given a standard to follow in Ephesians 4:28-30. That’s where the apostle Paul said;

Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption (Ephesians 4:29-30).

I suggest that we learn to put our words to ‘the Ephesians 4:29-30 test’. When you are tempted to give your opinion about something, just stop and ask the four questions that are suggested by these two verses:

(1) Is what I’m about to say free of any sinful and corrupt motives?

(2) Is it intended to do good to the hearer and edify them?

(3) Am I being as gracious as I can be in the manner in which I’m saying it?

(4) Is it pleasing to the Holy Spirit that it be said?

If we can sincerely answer ‘yes’ to those four questions, then I believe we can safely speak to the glory of God and to the protection of our witness to the gospel. But if not, then that’s the time to follow Agur’s wise counsel … and “put your hand to your mouth”.

AE