LOVE’S TRUE PREFERENCES

Posted by Pastor Greg Allen on January 23, 2022 under 2022 |

Bethany Bible Church Sunday message; January 23, 2022 from 2 Corinthians 13:7-10

Theme: If we love one another in Christ as we should, there will be certain things that we would prefer for each other.

(All Scripture is taken from The New King James Version, unless otherwise indicated).

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In the Church—the body of Christ on earth—we don’t do things the way the unbelieving world does them. Or at least, we’re not supposed to. We must be careful to do things God’s way.

One of the areas of life in which we, as Jesus’ followers, are to do things differently is in how we exercise an influence over one another. This was demonstrated in the way that the apostle Paul exercised his spiritual authority over the Corinthian believers in dealing with a very serious sin problem in their midst. It showed up most clearly in the things that he said were his ‘preferences’ with regard to the Corinthian believers.

He wrote about it in 2 Corinthians 13:7-10.

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Let’s begin by looking at the passage itself. We find it near the very end of 2 Corinthians—in what we might call the ‘closing appeal’ to the harsher section of an otherwise very warm and tender letter. He wrote to some disobedient believers in that church and said;

Now I pray to God that you do no evil, not that we should appear approved, but that you should do what is honorable, though we may seem disqualified. For we can do nothing against the truth, but for the truth. For we are glad when we are weak and you are strong. And this also we pray, that you may be made complete. Therefore I write these things being absent, lest being present I should use sharpness, according to the authority which the Lord has given me for edification and not for destruction (2 Corinthians 13:7-10).

There had been some very sinful things going on in the church—not on the part of everyone within the church family, of course; but mainly on the part of a particular group within the church. Some had been listening to false teachers who were making themselves out to be very scholarly and spiritually powerful—and who were, at the same time, making Paul—God’s appointed apostle—out to be weak and untrustworthy. As a result, some of the members of the church were rebelling against Paul’s spiritual leadership, and were creating divisions within the church family. And others were engaging in very serious sinful practices within the church—and were not heeding Paul’s call to repent.

Paul was promising to come and deal with these problems. He had no other choice before God. He had to do so. But he didn’t want to have to come to them and exercise his spiritual authority in a harsh and severe way. In the previous chapter, he had told them;

For I fear lest, when I come, I shall not find you such as I wish, and that I shall be found by you such as you do not wish; lest there be contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, backbitings, whisperings, conceits, tumults; lest, when I come again, my God will humble me among you, and I shall mourn for many who have sinned before and have not repented of the uncleanness, fornication, and lewdness which they have practiced (12:20-21).

Some so-called ‘spiritual leaders’ today would have been indifferent about having to come to the church in a harsh way—not caring at all about the feelings they may have to stomp on. We might even dare to say that there would be some self-proclaimed ‘defenders of the cause of Christ’ who would actually delight in showing up like spiritual versions of ‘John Wayne’—with ‘guns a-blazing’. But for Paul, to have to come with that kind of harshness to the Corinthian believers was something that he described as ‘mournful’ and as God ‘humbling’ him among them. He was certainly capable of doing so; and would, of course, do so if he had to. But such a thing would definitely not have been his preference. In fact, he said in our passage that that’s one reason why he wrote this letter; saying, “Therefore I write these things being absent, lest being present I should use sharpness …”

Instead, he made clear to the Corinthians what he would prefer to have happen. He even identified some preferences that would have cost him personally. And that was because he genuinely loved them in Christ.

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This passage really hit home to me personally because of a recent podcast that I and some others within our church family had been listening to. It was a podcast produced by Christianity Today titled ‘The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill’. It tells the very sad story of an internationally-known but now-disbanded mega-church, formerly based in Seattle, that had been destroyed by the authoritarian conduct and tactics of its lead pastor. I don’t recommend listening to that podcast casually, because it is truly a very painful and distressing story to have to endure. But the lessons it teaches are very significant.

That lead pastor was a talented speaker with a very powerful personality and style. From the determination of many other spiritual leaders that he worked with, he started off basically sound in his theology and orthodox in his teaching. He exercised a powerful influence over people on a global scale, started many significant outreach organizations, and truly had a platform from which he could have drawn many to Christ. But over the course of a little over a decade, he ended up using his influence and power in such a destructively authoritarian way that he left many people and many Christian organizations devastated—and even turning some away from the Christian faith in bitterness because of him. Some families connected to the church were broken up; many former members of the leadership had to receive post-traumatic counseling. At least one individual, who had been devastated by the whole disaster, even ended up taking his own life. Some others seriously thought about it.

And it was all because this pastor chose to follow a style of leadership in the church that was more like the harsh, top-down, ‘my-way-or-the-highway’ pattern of this world—one that was completely contrary to the attitude and example of our Chief Shepherd Jesus Christ.

Jesus had something very important to say about how we—who have spiritual authority—are to exercise influence over others. He once overheard His disciples arguing with each other over which of them was the ‘greatest’. And He gathered them to Himself and told them;

“You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those who are great exercise authority over them. Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:25-28).

The apostle Paul—a man to whom God had given tremendous spiritual influence and authority—was careful in how he used it. He didn’t take a ‘power-over’ position with the people entrusted to him; but was careful to imitate the Lord Jesus; who left the glory of heaven and came to this earth not to be served, but to serve … and to give His life as a ransom for us.

Now; you may look at this passage—and the example of Paul’s Christ-like exercise of authority—and wonder what it has to do with you. You may say, “Well; this sounds like a good passage for ‘pastors’,” (and it definitely is, by the way); “but what has it got to do with me? I’m not a pastor. I’m not a spiritual leader. I don’t have any ‘spiritual authority’ over anyone else in the church, nor do I want any.” And that may seem to be the case. But the actual fact is that you and I do share a common responsibility for one another’s care and edification in the household of faith in our Lord Jesus. The Father has given us to each other in order to bear a ‘Christ-ward’ influence upon one another. We all are our brother’s keeper. And we will stand before our Lord one day to give an account for how we treated each other with respect to our Lord’s kingdom and cause. We all have an obligation to one another with regard to how we influence each other.

And that’s why this passage is important. It’s important to every one of us. In it, we see how the apostle Paul followed the example of Jesus in the kind of things that he ‘preferred’ when it came to his brothers and sisters in Christ. This passage shows us that, if we truly love one another in Christ as we should, there will be certain things that we would prefer for each other—preferences that may even cost us something personally, but that will nevertheless be a true imitation of Jesus’ own sacrificial love for you and me.

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What are those ‘preferences’? I find four of them expressed in 2 Corinthians 13:7-10. First, we see that, if we loved each other as we should in Christ, we will prefer …

1. HONORABLE BEHAVIOR OVER OUR OWN REPUTATION.

In verse 7, Paul wrote, “Now I pray to God that you do no evil, not that we should appear approved, but that you should do what is honorable, though we may seem disqualified.” He had just written to these disobedient Christians that he was planning to come and deal with the matters of sin in their midst. He said in 13:2 that he would come and “will not spare” those who were continuing unrepentantly in sin. But he wished to make it clear to them that it wasn’t because he wanted to appear to be ‘something’ in the eyes of the watching world. He wasn’t concerned about seeming “approved” in his spiritual authority and apostleship—either before the disobedient Corinthians or the false teachers who were influencing them. In fact, he would be content to be thought of as “disapproved”; just so long as the Corinthians would actually be doing what is right and would be genuinely behaving in an honorable manner before God.

Notice very carefully the word “seem” in verse 7. It helps to explain Paul’s true meaning to us. It wasn’t that he was content to be “disapproved” in his ministry. He would never want that. And in fact, he made it clear in verse 6 that he was confident that he and his co-workers were approved in the sight of God. But he said that he wanted the Corinthians to do what is honorable “though we may seem disqualified”. And that leads us to Paul’s Christ-like preference with regard to the Corinthians. If he had to make a choice, he would prefer that they actually and in reality be honorable in the sight of God—truly “approved” in Christ—even if it might mean that he and his co-workers would appear to be “disapproved” in the sight of others.

That of course should be what any good pastor or spiritual leader in the household of God would prefer. Obviously, no such leader would ever want to actually be “disapproved” in ministry. They would want to do their work honorably and live faithfully before God and before people. But if pursuing the honorable behavior of God’s people would mean that they must suffer a reputation of ‘disapproval’ and ‘dishonor’ in the sight of this world, then so be it. They would prefer the honorable behavior of God’s people in the sight of their Lord at the cost of their own reputation in the sight of this world. Paul had to pay that price. Many others of the Lord’s faithful servants have had to pay it too.

And do you know who paid that price more than anyone else? It was the Lord Jesus. He paid that price in order to make you and me holy in His sight by dying on the cross for us. The cross was a shameful thing to be executed on—a despised thing. But when it came to winning righteousness for you and me, He didn’t care about that shame. As we’re told in Hebrews 12:1-2;

… let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God (Hebrews 12:1-2).

Dear brothers and sisters in Christ; do we love one another so much—and are we so desirous of one another’s righteousness and personal holiness before Jesus Christ—and are we so zealous for one another’s genuine purity—that we are willing to work for it at the cost of our own reputations before the watching world? Are we willing to be thought of as ‘out-of-date’, and ‘out-of-step’, and ‘intolerant’, and ‘narrow-minded’, ‘radical’, in our longing for one another’s true holiness and purity? Are we willing to bear the shame of the cross for each other … just as our Lord was willing to suffer the reality of it for us?

One of the things that shows our true love for one another is that we would humbly prefer one another’s honorable behavior before Christ over our own reputation before this world.

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Another thing that we would prefer would be …

2. THE WORK OF TRUTH OVER OUR OWN COMFORT.

In verse 8, Paul went on to say, “For we can do nothing against the truth, but for the truth.” Paul could have saved himself a lot of heartache if he had only been willing to compromise the truth. The false teachers who were troubling the Corinthian Christians had already done so. In Chapter 11, he wrote to the Corinthians and said;

For I am jealous for you with godly jealousy. For I have betrothed you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ. But I fear, lest somehow, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, so your minds may be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ. For if he who comes preaches another Jesus whom we have not preached, or if you receive a different spirit which you have not received, or a different gospel which you have not accepted—you may well put up with it! (2 Corinthians 11:2-4).

The hardship and suffering that Paul underwent in his care for the Corinthians could have been avoided if he would just go along with the false teachers and compromise the gospel. All he would have had to do was preach about a Jesus who didn’t demand anything of us—a Jesus who simply loved everyone as they were, and who approved of all that we wished to do—a Jesus who never gave us any commandments, or who never demanded any sacrifice of us, or who never called us to repent of any sin or believe any specific word He spoke—a Jesus who died on the cross as an example of love, and not as a sacrifice for sin—and all would have been well.

But Paul would not do that. In verse 8—in the original language—Paul actually said, “For we have no power against the truth …” Any power that he or his co-missionaries had would have been only “for” the truth. Long ago—in his first letter to them—he told these Corinthians;

For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written:

“I will destroy the wisdom of the wise,
And bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent.”

Where is the wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the disputer of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of this world? For since, in the wisdom of God, the world through wisdom did not know God, it pleased God through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe. For Jews request a sign, and Greeks seek after wisdom; but we preach Christ crucified, to the Jews a stumbling block and to the Greeks foolishness, but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men (1 Corinthians 1:18-25).

We will never win any awards from this world by preaching the message of Jesus Christ and Him crucified. In fact, we will surely suffer for it. But we must preach it anyway because it’s the truth; and it’s what saves people. And we have no power against that truth, but only for it.

Are you and I so desirous for the salvation of others that we are willing to prefer the work of the truth over our own comfort? Paul was. We will be too if we love each other in Christ as we should.

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Another thing we would be willing to prefer is …

3. COMPLETENESS IN CHRIST OVER THE STRENGTH OF OUR OWN SELF.

For so many in this world, there is nothing more important than the advancement of one’s self. “Love yourself first,” they say. But here’s what Paul said in verse 9; “For we are glad when we are weak and you are strong. And this also we pray, that you may be made complete.”

The false teachers were trying to convince the Corinthians that Paul was weak. In 10:10, Paul wrote about the gossip they were spreading about him: “’For his letters,’ they say, ‘are weighty and powerful, but his bodily presence is weak, and his speech contemptible.’” But Paul wasn’t concerned about that. He would prefer that he would be viewed as “weak” in the eyes of this world—and even that he would actually be made weak, in fact, in his actual physical condition—if it would mean that the Corinthians that he loved would be made strong in Christ. He said in 12:15 that he would gladly “spend” and “be spent” for them if it would strengthen them. And more than being merely strengthened, he said that what he would prefer is that they be made “complete”—a word that meant that they be “mended” and “restored” … even at the cost of his own weakness.

And in wanting this, Paul was simply imitating our Lord. The Bible tells us—in the Book of Hebrews—that Jesus is a High Priest who can sympathize with our weaknesses; because He was “in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin” (Hebrews 4:15);

who, in the days of His flesh, when He had offered up prayers and supplications, with vehement cries and tears to Him who was able to save Him from death, and was heard because of His godly fear, though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered. And having been perfected, He became the author of eternal salvation to all who obey Him (Hebrews 5:7-9);

who, as Paul put it in 2 Corinthians 8:9,

though He was rich, yet for your sakes He became poor, that you through His poverty might become rich (2 Corinthians 8:9).

Dear brothers and sisters; are we willing to prefer one another’s completeness and restoration in Christ, even if it meant that we would have to become weak in the process? Paul was willing. And if we loved one another in Christ as we should, we would too.

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And finally, if we love each other as we should, we would also prefer …

4. EDIFICATION OVER OUR OWN POWER TO HARM.

This really gets to the heart of true spiritual leadership and influence. This really gets to the heart of what Jesus said was the true path to greatness in His kingdom. And what’s more, this really gets to the heart of why Paul wrote this letter—and specifically, why he wrote the hard things that he wrote near the end of this letter. As he put it in verse 10; “Therefore I write these things being absent, lest being present I should use sharpness, according to the authority which the Lord has given me for edification and not for destruction.” He didn’t wish to come in harshness and sharpness of rebuke. He didn’t wish to tear down the Corinthians and destroy them. That’s not why authority had been given to him. That would not be Jesus’ way at all.

Think of Jesus’ approach to you and me. In Matthew 11, He spoke strong words of rebuke against the cities and towns of Israel that rejected His teaching and wouldn’t repent at His words. Our Lord made it clear that, one day, He would come as the Judge of all the earth. What a fearsome Judge He will be toward those who reject Him! But then—right after speaking those words of judgment—He then gave this invitation to all those who would receive Him;

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).

He doesn’t call us to Himself to destroy us or to do us harm. He calls us to Himself to give us rest and to restore us. That’s His way. And that’s how those who are given spiritual authority and influence in His household are to behave. They are to use that authority and influence to restore and refresh and give rest to His people.

And if we love one another in Jesus as we should, we too will prefer edification over harm.

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One Bible teacher has said that this passage—more than any other—defines the clear limitations of spiritual and pastoral authority in God’s household. But that’s not all that it does. It also defines the conduct of every one of us toward each other in the body of Christ—pointing us, ultimately, to Jesus’ own preferences for us.

May we be like Jesus—and prefer the kinds of things toward one another that He would.

AE