Statement of Faith

The Four Most Important Things We Could Ever Tell You

Listen to this week's message!

Map to the Church

Prayer Requests

Enhance your daily reading of God's word. Click here for free, printable Bible Reading and Prayer Journal sheets!

Unsaved Loved Ones

Question:

How do we handle the fact that, if our loved ones do not become saved, they will go to Hell? This is so hard to come to terms with, when we love others such as family members.

* * * * * * * * * *

Dear friend,

Among the many things that I'm called upon to do as a pastor, one of the hardest is to perform a funeral service for someone for whom there is no assurance that they trusted Jesus Christ as their Savior. Harder still are the funeral services for those who self-consciously rejected Him. I'm afraid there's not an easy answer to your question; but I can share with you some of the ways I have processed it in my own experience.

For one thing, I have noticed that the Bible doesn't dwell very much at all on what happens to an unbelieving person when they die. There are some passages that deal with this matter, such as the story of the rich man and Lazarus (Luke 16:19-31), or some of the hard sayings of our Lord (such as Matthew 18:7-9; Mark 9:43-48). We should never minimize those passages. But it seems to me that the focus of these passages is more toward giving a warning to the living to repent, rather than on giving information about the dead who did not. I take this to be an indication that it is not proper for us to dwell too much on the condintion of those who have died without faith in Christ. What happens to our unrepentant loved ones after they die is a matter, it seems to me, that God has (mercifully) placed a veil over; and personally, I'm content not to try to remove it. Instead, I believe God would have me focus more on sharing the gospel with those who still live—while they still have time.

There are those times when I'm simply not sure that a loved one who has passed had trusted Jesus or not. They may have heard the gospel, and may even have put off responding to it for many years. And yet, they never seemed to have accepted it. And yet, I may simply not know what God did in their lives without my knowing. Sometimes, I have been told after the fact that someone I love—who had prior to that point rejected Christ—was talked to by someone else who led them to the Lord in the last few weeks of life; and that they prayed with that person and received God's forgiveness through Christ.

I believe that it is absolutely essential that someone place their trust in Jesus Christ for salvation; and I believe that it is essential that they do so as soon as possible. But I have many times drawn comfort from the story of the thief on the cross that died next to our Lord (Luke 23:39-43). He didn't have much time to respond to Jesus at all. But he did. And Jesus told him, "Assuredly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise" (v. 43). I have often wondered if some loved ones that I know, who had given no apparent response to Jesus in their healthy days, may have heard the truth and came to believe it near the end— just, as it were, 'in the nick of time'. I can't say for sure; but I do suspect that we will be in for some wonderful surprises in heaven.

So; what about those who we know for certain refused the message of God's love to the very end? How do we deal with that? A very precious passage of Scripture comes to mind with regard to this. Revelation 21:4 tells us that, in the New Jerusalem—our eternal home in Christ—God will have gathered together all of His redeemed ones who believed on His Son. "And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away." We're not told what those tears that God will wipe away were for; but I suspect that at least some of them will be for our loved ones who are not there with us. God understands that pain. Jesus Himself wept over the unrepentance of His kinsmen and the suffering that would come upon them (Luke 19:41-44). I'm comforted by the thought that, when I am in heavenly glory and some of my loved ones are not, God Himself feels that pain and will comfort me.

All of this, of course, motivates me to thank God that He—in mercy—saved me through Jesus Christ. And it also motivates me to want to tell others around me about Him while I still can. I take the greatest comfort of all in knowing that, in the end, the Judge of all the earth will prove to have been righteous and merciful.

Blessings in Christ,

Pastor Greg
Bethany Bible Church

(All Scripture quotes are taken from the New King James Version.)

Return to the Questions